Tuesday, August 18, 2009
i ran from the tide.
Have you ever felt like you have nothing to say? You tire of your best friends, you tire of meeting more strangers. The conversation drifts easily in a circular motion, fitting into a well-honed groove. You begin to feel as if you have nothing left to offer. Your tongue is thick, masking the voice and overcoming the stark reality of consciousness. Religion, politics, morality, college gossip, etc, etc, etc - they're all there, ample fodder, no doubt. What kind of depth can you establish in a friendship? What kind of trust can you invest in someone else? Can you swallow the tragedy of betrayal? Can you return to your prior self, oblivious and unaware of your rueful discovery? I am not yet resigned or completely disheartened. I'm simply lying in wait, determined that I will find at least a piece of myself buried in someone else.
I pulled up my old blog in search of a mention of Heart of Darkness, only to re-sample some of the acridity that ate away at and nearly destroyed my sophomore year of college. Since then I've come a long way in terms of perspective and how I deal with things. It's important to glean what you can from the shit you've been subjected to. Reflection will be both your bane and your boon.
So much left to learn, so little time.
Let me lighten things up a bit :) ... don't get me wrong, I'm no longer the pessimist of my past (or at least, I haven't been for a good while). My trip to Houston thus far has introduced me to the scintillating ways the music of Kasabian can and will have with you ... Processed Beats. Yum.
Enjoy~ & happy last week before school starts.
- oh ... and pic courtesy of lina scheynius. love.